Thank you for this post Joel. It's hard not to care how someone votes because to me, that seems core to decency. But I am also learning that being able to be friends with folks on the other side is the only way we might be able to talk about things. And I bet that what they believe, they don't think is indecent.
In reflecting on this piece, I realize that for all my political activism, learning how to maintain friendships with people who have different political views feels like the most impactful action that I do.
There’s a 40-50% chance your new friend doesn’t vote. El Salvador is in Central America. And very sure some of our troops are there as well as a bunch of taxpayers hard earned money. But if I cared how people voted I wouldn’t have any friends. Just vote.
It's so important to seek out and create, build and maintain connections. Only then can we decide if they are healthy and productive, constructive. But I can't help but wonder, if we can't discuss politics, which at its most basic level is simply the discussion of people, the public, with our closest connections ("close" can be emotional, spiritual, etc., but can also just mean the person you're standing across from at this moment), then with whom, and when and where, can we do? I struggle with this as well. We are in such a divided society it's hard to imagine bridging a gap between such a chasm. This isn't just a leap that requires a bit of extra effort... this is the Grand Canyon we're talking about. For example, my uncle, whom I love dearly, I've had to consciously decide to avoid all discussion of politics. This may sound absurd or extreme, but I have decided to assume that, where politics is concerned, he is actually mentally insane, and that I need to extend the kind of compassion and grace to him that I would to any person with such an illness and not challenge him in any way. I have other friends whom I will probably have to treat as such. That does not make me feel good, neither about my relationship with these people, nor about my country in general. Anyway, this does reinforce how difficult a time this is. It is going to be a real challenge for me to navigate news, relationship, feelings that bubble up. I have to learn to control those, feelings, express them in ways and at times that are appropriate (like here and now) and not by preaching or belching exasperated posts on Facebook that are only based on my own outrage and fear. I journal, I write hand-written notes to friends, acquaintanances, clients, just to reach out and have a personal connection. I participate with my partner in group bike rides to meet and be in physical proximity to other human beings. It's important to find like-minded people with whom to share human experiences. They don't have to be like-minded politically, but it would be nice if we didn't have to be so hyper aware of that status.
From the hand written notes to the times with like minded people, reconsidering any preachy posts; a lot of what has come to you has also come to me. Makes me believe that there is a wellspring popping up all over of good actions like ours! I hope that our services to this time, while they may seem little when you stare at the grand canyon you speak of, will narrow this metaphorical chasm.
I have come to think that our metaphors are a little hurtful to us. How we generalize They and The Gap. Here at OTGC we consciously call it the interchange rather than the divide, acknowledging that there is transmission between us. It is just not always that healthy or kindly of transmission. I can not change it all. I can change what is before me.
I hope that someday my new friend and I talk politics. After enough small talk and hikes and sharing of our persons, that interchange can be in a field of trust.
Thank you for this post Joel. It's hard not to care how someone votes because to me, that seems core to decency. But I am also learning that being able to be friends with folks on the other side is the only way we might be able to talk about things. And I bet that what they believe, they don't think is indecent.
In reflecting on this piece, I realize that for all my political activism, learning how to maintain friendships with people who have different political views feels like the most impactful action that I do.
There’s a 40-50% chance your new friend doesn’t vote. El Salvador is in Central America. And very sure some of our troops are there as well as a bunch of taxpayers hard earned money. But if I cared how people voted I wouldn’t have any friends. Just vote.
Sorry about my Geo Boo boo. I will correct and acknowledge.
It's so important to seek out and create, build and maintain connections. Only then can we decide if they are healthy and productive, constructive. But I can't help but wonder, if we can't discuss politics, which at its most basic level is simply the discussion of people, the public, with our closest connections ("close" can be emotional, spiritual, etc., but can also just mean the person you're standing across from at this moment), then with whom, and when and where, can we do? I struggle with this as well. We are in such a divided society it's hard to imagine bridging a gap between such a chasm. This isn't just a leap that requires a bit of extra effort... this is the Grand Canyon we're talking about. For example, my uncle, whom I love dearly, I've had to consciously decide to avoid all discussion of politics. This may sound absurd or extreme, but I have decided to assume that, where politics is concerned, he is actually mentally insane, and that I need to extend the kind of compassion and grace to him that I would to any person with such an illness and not challenge him in any way. I have other friends whom I will probably have to treat as such. That does not make me feel good, neither about my relationship with these people, nor about my country in general. Anyway, this does reinforce how difficult a time this is. It is going to be a real challenge for me to navigate news, relationship, feelings that bubble up. I have to learn to control those, feelings, express them in ways and at times that are appropriate (like here and now) and not by preaching or belching exasperated posts on Facebook that are only based on my own outrage and fear. I journal, I write hand-written notes to friends, acquaintanances, clients, just to reach out and have a personal connection. I participate with my partner in group bike rides to meet and be in physical proximity to other human beings. It's important to find like-minded people with whom to share human experiences. They don't have to be like-minded politically, but it would be nice if we didn't have to be so hyper aware of that status.
From the hand written notes to the times with like minded people, reconsidering any preachy posts; a lot of what has come to you has also come to me. Makes me believe that there is a wellspring popping up all over of good actions like ours! I hope that our services to this time, while they may seem little when you stare at the grand canyon you speak of, will narrow this metaphorical chasm.
I have come to think that our metaphors are a little hurtful to us. How we generalize They and The Gap. Here at OTGC we consciously call it the interchange rather than the divide, acknowledging that there is transmission between us. It is just not always that healthy or kindly of transmission. I can not change it all. I can change what is before me.
I hope that someday my new friend and I talk politics. After enough small talk and hikes and sharing of our persons, that interchange can be in a field of trust.