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Joe's avatar

It's so important to seek out and create, build and maintain connections. Only then can we decide if they are healthy and productive, constructive. But I can't help but wonder, if we can't discuss politics, which at its most basic level is simply the discussion of people, the public, with our closest connections ("close" can be emotional, spiritual, etc., but can also just mean the person you're standing across from at this moment), then with whom, and when and where, can we do? I struggle with this as well. We are in such a divided society it's hard to imagine bridging a gap between such a chasm. This isn't just a leap that requires a bit of extra effort... this is the Grand Canyon we're talking about. For example, my uncle, whom I love dearly, I've had to consciously decide to avoid all discussion of politics. This may sound absurd or extreme, but I have decided to assume that, where politics is concerned, he is actually mentally insane, and that I need to extend the kind of compassion and grace to him that I would to any person with such an illness and not challenge him in any way. I have other friends whom I will probably have to treat as such. That does not make me feel good, neither about my relationship with these people, nor about my country in general. Anyway, this does reinforce how difficult a time this is. It is going to be a real challenge for me to navigate news, relationship, feelings that bubble up. I have to learn to control those, feelings, express them in ways and at times that are appropriate (like here and now) and not by preaching or belching exasperated posts on Facebook that are only based on my own outrage and fear. I journal, I write hand-written notes to friends, acquaintanances, clients, just to reach out and have a personal connection. I participate with my partner in group bike rides to meet and be in physical proximity to other human beings. It's important to find like-minded people with whom to share human experiences. They don't have to be like-minded politically, but it would be nice if we didn't have to be so hyper aware of that status.

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Janelle Coburn's avatar

Thank you for this post Joel. It's hard not to care how someone votes because to me, that seems core to decency. But I am also learning that being able to be friends with folks on the other side is the only way we might be able to talk about things. And I bet that what they believe, they don't think is indecent.

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