Number 12: To speak to cynicism, to meet the gaze of nihilism
I actually plan to never be caught dead in Crocs.
I started keying in to the checker when I was two people back in line. She was relaying an incredibly vapid story about the removal of the Starbucks from the store. Then she explained that a dozen donuts was cheaper than ten. I was not going to stand for this.
I looked her in the eye when she started checking my purchases.
I said, “Are you having a bomb-ass day?”
She was right on top of it, said, “Styling — WHEW —and Profiling like Ric Flair.”
Our ages matched enough that we could reference the great professional wrestler of the 80s, The Nature Boy Ric Flair.1
The goings on of these two Gen X artifacts seemed quite entertaining to the younger woman bagging my groceries.
I engage with people. I frankly think that you should to, for the good of yourself and for the good of us all.
A test, to see if the world deserves cynicism
This would take two minutes of your time, maybe less.
Think of the last five people you directly interacted with. On the phone, in a text thread, or in person. Social media does not count. Your spouse, the receptionists at your doctor's office. A co-worker, your mother via text. The checker at the grocery store.
The last five people.
How many of them were stupid? one? zero?
Now think of the last 50 people you encountered. Broadly. Everyone you met in the last 4-5 days.2
Again, not avatars on social media. Not drivers you interacted with in traffic. These mediations invite different versions of ourselves.3
How many of those 50 would you call crazy? four? two? zero? Do you interact with, on average, even one crazy person a day?
The parasite that makes you believe people are crazy and stupid
Parasitic organisms are baffling, brilliant survivors. Taxoplasmosis is a parasite that, when in a rat, makes it unafraid of cats and even sexually excited by them. This allows the parasite to travel to the cat.4
Modern cynicism claims that people are crazy or stupid. That we can't hope for reasonable outcomes from people. The evidence in just about every life just about every day is to the contrary. Cynicism is something like a parasite. It disinvites the carrier from life to protect the false belief.
The parasite will say "look at the news. Look how crazy the world is."
And I appreciate the parasite saying that.5 It gives me the opportunity to point out that the news is not a reflection of life. It is the exceptional tidbits that are newsworthy and get published. They are not just other than here where you and I are, they are weird points in time and weird people that stand out even in the exotic place the camera captured them.
They are to be reported on and dealt with, but they are not accurate reflections of the world here nor the world there.
Your household is. The shops and institutions that you enter into are. This is life, and this is humanity.6
Talking to your cynicism
Cynicism, you are incoherent such that you must yell really loud all the time, like Ric Flair. You are incoherent when you say that it is hopeless, that people are stupid and crazy, that the best we can do with our time is to crack the most cutting joke we can to stimulate some nice brain chemicals.
But Cynicism, I hear your language coming from people with tight families around them. With professional teams built on respect and appreciation. From humans who shine light themselves.
The sufferer of cynicism views all the evidence before them as the exception. The rules are derived from the news of the day that is algorithmically scrolling down a screen as the rule. They ignore the wisdom and love of their children and parents. Cynicism is mapping their view of humanity based on a crazed 20-second excerpt from eight hours of parliamentary procedure. Victims are disabled by the parasite, not able to take the interior of their own soul as a guide to how others' insides feel.
Looking cynicism in the eyes
Timothy Snyder's 12 Lesson on Fighting Tyranny is:
Make eye contact and small talk. This is not just polite. It is part of being a citizen and a responsible member of society. It is also a way to stay in touch with your surroundings, break down social barriers, and understand whom you should and should not trust. It we enter a culture of denunciation, you will want to know the psychological landscape of your daily life.
If cynicism has a hold of you, eye contact and small talk are going to feel dangerous and wasteful. Why engage when people are stupid and/or crazy? But engagement is what we need to do to treat our own cynicism and the cynicism of those around us.
So do the math. Account for the 50 people you last were human with. Count forward to the next 1,000. Inoculate yourself from cynicism and look me in the eyes in the grocery store. Give me a nod. Crack a joke about Spaghetti-Os on clearance. Flirt with me. Particularly if something about me (the color of my hat, the goofy shoes I wear,7 the words on my shirt8 disrupts you. Think of me as one of the next five people you are meeting. It is highly likely — likely as the floor holding us up as we talk — that I am a soulful human.
A new measure to guide us
We can be freed from the hard, misleading numbers on our screens. Those are metrics but they measure nothing of significance. They are used to make you sad, hopeless, and good at cracking sad hopeless jokes.
The running total of the humanity, intelligence, and love I encounter with people — the last five, the last fifty, the last five thousand — is the measure I use to guide the next encounters I have. I make eye contact. I ask about your tattoo. I comment on the weird buttons on your strange rubber shoes.9 I thank you for your time, I mean it.
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Stylin’ and profilin’. As a catchphrase really only seems to work because Flair believes it so hard. /
Unless you are a grocery checker. Then everyone you met in the last hour. Geez.
When we are drivers or operating a social media interface, we are “socially disinhibited,” at least in part because we lack the human to human cues that teach us how to treat each other https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect
It says that because it is a strawparasite that I am creating for this argument...but don't you think it is pretty close to what cynicism will say to a rosy-cheeked individual such as myself?
What are the values of humanity that you observe for yourself in these places? Is it selfishness? Is it ordered society? Is it joy and laughter?
https://cottonbureau.com/p/MTARUT/shirt/liberty-justice-for-all-rwb-gradient#/29144837/tee-men-premium-lightweight-vintage-black-tri-blend-s
Here you go Joel, dissing on Crocs again. They are hellaciously comfortable and definitely useful as camp shoes. That's the main thing I took away from #12 :P
Glad that I found you guys on the back of County Highway.